I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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