this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
