My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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