I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Panties = found
Randomize
