Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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