Your mouth is God's brothel.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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