im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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