i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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