Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
