you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
