Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
