I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
