his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
