i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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