Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
