between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
