I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize