You can't motorboat a personality
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
