Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
