do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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