hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
