I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
