Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
home. puking in laundry basket.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
