3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
