So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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