so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Your cock deserves a montage
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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