If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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