if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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