i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
