Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she smelled like a LAN party
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
