i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize