Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
