you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
