How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize