i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
