I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
