Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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