I need help removing her.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
