Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
