haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
