Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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