So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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