how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
