dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
