Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
