I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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