im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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