she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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