You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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