in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
