I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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