Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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