I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
