You really coming over, don't trick.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
