Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
