We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
