U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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