Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
pop tarts are not kleenex
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
