Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you traded sex for a burrito?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
