Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize