You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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