bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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