yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
