It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Operation Purity has been aborted
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
