Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
