He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
