You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
