please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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