So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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